~ part one ~
Doe wakes in the motel bedroom upside down passed out in the bed, hanging part off. He lifts his head.
Hit with a snowball.
Nocturne - "Gotcha !"
Doe - "What the fu ..." He rolls over and falls off the bed.
Nocturne - "It's called 'snow'. It's a thing."
She clears her throat while he stands, bedside bottles falling over, hit in the face with a snowball, slips off the table and falls.
Nocturne - Laughing, "Oh my god you're so fucking weak."
A gun in hand pops up from the other side of the bed.
Snowball knocks it out.
A present flies, caught. He sits up and looks at her suspiciously, her hands behind her back.
Doe - "Seriously ..."
Snowball.
Doe - "I mean ..."
Snowball.
Nocturne - "Open it !"
Doe - "Whoa ..."
Nocturne - "Now put it down ..."
A sigh ...
Doe - "Where did you even get the snow ..."
He jumps out shooting from behind the bed while she flip bounces off the bed to where he was.
____
The neighboring tenants leap under beds and run out doors, muzzle flash from inside the room, sounds of blades and crashing ... the window blows out in smoke ... a pause while some peer closer, running away from continuing gunfire.
The dawn, in bed smoking, the room destroyed ~
Nocturne - "Merry X."
The door kicks open on body cam, "! Freeze !" They kiss pulling guns and shooting the camera out.
________________
On the old TV screen, changing channels, the news ~
News human - "Another toy heist occurred today, again the entire cargo trailer was taken !"
____
On scene by the side of the road, a trailer-less truck, camera on the driver standing near.
Trucker Bob - "It was aliens."
____
They look at each other at the news desk.
(Evil horn music - ! Bum, Bum, Bummmm ... )
A cloaked figure at the fore deck of an airship overlooking the stars.
Santa - "Yes ... Rudolph. Soon we shall have all the toys we need. To make the children. Very. Very. Happy."
Evil laughter in front of the moon as the airship drifts to the clouds ...
________________
Doe - Driving, "That's really not fair, you know. I'm not technically 'invincible' and such ..."
Nocturne - "I know. It's because you're weak."
She bites an apple and looks at him.
He stares. Opens the door.
____________
Santa - "One more hit Rudolf. Just. One. More ...
The airship appears from the clouds keeping pace with a semi.
Inside the cab, Trucker Bob looks around and up ...
________
Nocturne looks up from her boredom waiting, seeing Doe carry bags of money, the building explodes behind him. She rolls her eyes. He gets in and tosses the money in the back.
Nocturne - "Why ?"
Doe - "Your X day present !"
Nocturne - "I don't need bags of money." She stares.
He stares back. Sirens sound in the distance.
She stares impatiently. He grins with two blunts in his mouth, lights. She cocks her head.
Doe - "Check the back seat."
She reaches over and pulls down the seat, absurd weaponry pouring out in mad quantities. The sirens getting closer. The sunroof opens.
Doe - Hands her a blunt and roars the engine, "This block goes around the park, in a loop. One circle. I drive. You shoot. Merry X, babe."
Sirens close.
Nocturne - With a puff of smoke, "... all of them ?"
Flashes through the back window, steel slides closed.
Doe - Puffs and turns on the radio. " 'Til they just stop comin'."
(I Want to Take You Higher' by Sly and the Family Stone)
~ they peel off ~
The police swerve after them as grenades pop from the sunroof.
____
Trucker Bob rolls down the dark highway ... music on the radio ...
! spotlight from above !
Trucker Bob - "Not this time you alien sum bitch !"
The horn blows as the truck accelerates.
Santa - From the airship deck, "Oh ... trucker wants to play, yeah ?" He turns to the deck, "I'll take it manually Rudolf. This bitch is mine ..."
Trucker Bob wedges a machete to the pedal and flings open the door, firing at the spotlight, shattering it.
Bob - Jacking the shotgun, "These toys belong to the mall !"
____
The cars explode behind Nocturne and Doe as they speed off, a star pops into the corner of the screen.
____
Police Dispatch - "I'm sorry. I can't understand you through all the explosions. You'll have to speak more clearly. Now your name is ... Officer ... Backup ?"
Static.
____
News Human - We're here at the Middleton Park Loop, where apparently ... some 'hot-rodders' have Gone Wild !
Three patrol cars make a barricade behind the tire spikes on a chain, officers jacking their shotguns.
News Human - "Officer Wilhelm is with us to describe the carnage. So what plans ?"
He looks at her a moment ... opens his mouth to talk when the engine roars in the distance with sirens. He nods to the camera, jacks his shotgun and joins the line.
____
Trucker Bob bouncing in the seat, "Oh ... we goin' back road now." He checks the mirrors as the Santa's airship dips to just above the road, accelerating under the hanging branches.
____
Nocturne and Doe speed over the chains, blowing the patrol cars with the bumper fletchet (see last tale, an explosive shotgun blast, usual air to air, banned by the Geneva Convention and suffice to say ...)
Nocturne - Blasting behind a full clip from the semi auto grenade launcher, "! Whooo !"
Patrol cars roll exploding over the wedged hood of their car. The line leaps from the explosions, especially Officer Wilhelm screaming into the camera, knocking it to the side.
Ten more patrol cars speed by, the first line exploding over the second from the launcher. Two stars pop into the corner.
____
Santa leans over the airship controls furiously, the hull banging through the branches, vector graphics targeting lining grapple guns to the back of the swerving trailer, fires into the back.
He looks up from the target to scope, Trucker Bob stands on the trailer and loads the shotgun.
Bob grabs two chains mounted to the roof facing the airship, looks back at the scope and smiles. Machete wedging the pedal, one sock ties the wheel to the shift, the other ahead a cliff over seep incline, the mall at the base.
Santa's eyes go wide.
Bob - Shoots out one grapple rope, yanking the airship sideways, "Goin' for a ride in my spaceship now you alien ... mother ..."
____
Patrol cars tumble before and after their speeding car past the news camera, a crowd cheers.
Nocturne - Dropping back to the seat with a blown blunt in her mouth, "... Fuckers shot out my blunt."
Doe drops reaches and open the glove compartment, a pile of everything falls out into her lap.
Three stars into the corner.
Nocturne - Lighting a good one, "So what the fuck does it take to get a tank around here ?"
Doe - "Seriously."